Spiritual reading — take it all in stride, with reincarnation giving you peace; the great Invictus poem

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November 21

Today, it will be very good to be gentle. It is not unlikely that you will run into some sharp things—experiences, people, emotions, longings—that entice you to visit the extremes of your range.

Whether high or low, you are liable to get lost and lose your footing, lose your way. If you find yourself confronted
with that which pierces you, do not attempt to feel it, but practice the kind of sweetness and softness you would offer a beloved child facing the same.

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The goal here is to stay in some sort of balance. The opportunity to feel extremes of love or loss or desire or sorrow or ecstasy is a precious one and not to be missed. Yet it carries with it the danger of becoming so absorbed that you can forget the bigger picture, forget that although you are indeed these feelings, they are but a small part of who you are.

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*** The belief in the truth of reincarnation can lead to serenity, for we have known hundreds of lives, of deaths, of setbacks and also progress and joyful victories!

***

So be aware that there may be some peaks and valleys in the next few days. Let yourself live them fully, but do so with as much awareness as you can muster, that they are but vistas along the road. They are neither the destination nor the path itself.

In order to remain in balance, discipline will be useful. Try to give shape to your day and activities ahead of time rather than its opposite: allowing the acivities and commitments to shape your time.

The latter is easy to fall into, but if you know where you want to go (both in the ultimate and the short-term) then you will do well to choose the path that leads in your soul’s chosen direction.

Particularly on this day — when the detours will be more than usually seductive. In other words, give yourself over to the depths of any feelings and experiences you have, but do so while you chop wood and carry water. Do not attempt to mute what comes to you, but moderate it and soften it by allowing it to be integrated into your journey.

The sun will be a wonderful source of sustenance. If you can see it, use its energies to fortify and flll yourself. In a time of intense introspection and internal involvement, the sun, like routine and balance, can provide a counterweight, an energetic constant that will help you navigate successfully through the ups and downs.

Sunrise over beautiful, ancient-feeling Italy

If you are someone who is on an even keel, we suggest that you try to notice the nuances of your internal
life and how they relate to the sun and its presence in your life.

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*** Women seem very affected by the sun and the weather

When Margi wants to go for a walk on the beach and to “catch some rays,” she listens to her inner voice and acts on that need.

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Every man and woman should make time to get and read these two books by a Harvard/Yale/UC London neuropsychiatrist — with a wonderful, light style and sense of humor — so we can understand ourselves and our mates. You will have tons less arguments if you do! 🙂

Brizendine-Female-Brain-chapter-1

A typical man, though he has the same emotional needs as a woman, has tendencies to be a “strong and silent type” because on the hunt, you must be strong, brutal and silent. Or you come back empty-handed — and your hungry family STARVES.

If you recall the both amusing and somewhat useful 1986 Marine Corps movie “Heartbreak Ridge,” one of the subthemes is how Gunnery Sergeant Highway (Clint Eastwood) tries to get back together with his ex-wife, played by Marsha Mason, who has decided he will always be a hopelessly insensitive caveman. 😉

The ex does see his sincere efforts to woo her back — but Clint’s character still does not understand how women “tick.” And this is ridiculous — books explain it clearly. Men are hunters; women are gatherers.  Brainwise, we are still in our Stone Age  roles!  Men are not “weird,” nor are women, just different — designed for different tasks that are vital for our personal and racial SURVIVAL. We need to learn to laugh and smile about our differences, and accept the stubborn realities about the opposite sex. Marriage of these opposites can therefore be a wonderful way to grow spiritually!

In the Marines, as portrayed well by Major Powers (actor Everett McGill). you have to be very hard emotionally to be able to kill other men, especially up-close (my dad had five notches on his .38 pistol from Chinese men he had killed right in the Marine trenches of the Korean War), or to order them, although they may be someone’s beloved son, husband or boyfriend, to go attack the enemy and thus possibly get killed. 

The Gunny is so devastated about failing to win his wife back that he gets into a drunken brawl and ends up in jail, setting a very poor example for his men. Here, he is getting chewed out by his officer, Major Powers.

But the Gunny finally does succeed in the end in winning her back. And yes, it WAS partly by reading books and magazines on the female brain and psychology. 

And by her understanding him as a male, as a combat survivor, and appreciating and forgiving him.

If you recall, the ex is right there at the airport to welcome him back from combat (during the US invasion and liberation of then pro-communist Grenada). 🙂

Sì, se puede.

Yes, we can! Men and women can get along great — with love, knowledge of gender differences, and a great sense of humor about still being Stone-Agey!!

2007

 

Today

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And Margi’s greatest achievement has been to have helped me heal from the horrors of MK-ULTRA.

I have seen and experienced horrors that go far, far beyond anything soldiers and Marines endure in combat. It is called Complex PTSD.

MK-ULTRA is jewish neuroscientists torturing young Whites until they SHATTER PSYCHOLOGICALLY and become mind-controlled putty. I ran away at ten to successfully escape it.

12 Life-Impacting Symptoms Complex PTSD Survivors Endure

1. Deep Fear Of Trust

People who endure ongoing abuse, particularly from significant people in their lives, develop an intense and understandable fear of trusting people. If the abuse was parents or caregivers, this intensifies. Ongoing trauma wires the brain for fear and distrust. It becomes the way the brain copes with any further potential abuse. Complex trauma survivors often find trusting people very difficult, and it takes little for any trust built to be destroyed. The brain senses issues and this overwhelms the already severely-traumatized brain. This fear of trust is extremely impactful on a survivor’s life. Trust can be learned with support and an understanding of trusting people slowly and carefully.

2. Terminal Aloneness

This is a phrase I used to describe to my counselor — the terribly painful aloneness I have always felt as a complex trauma survivor. Survivors often feel so little connection and trust with people, they remain in a terrible state of aloneness, even when surrounded by people. I described it once as having a glass wall between myself and other people. I can see them, but I cannot connect with them.

Another issue that increases this aloneness is feeling different to other people. Feeling damaged, broken and unable to be like other people can haunt a survivor, increasing the loneliness.

3. Emotion Regulation

Intense emotions are common with complex trauma survivors. It is understandable that ongoing abuse can cause many different and intense emotions. This is normal for complex trauma survivors.

Learning to manage and regulate emotions is vital in being able to manage all the other symptoms.

4. Emotional Flashbacks

Flashbacks are something all PTSD survivors can deal with, and there are three types:

Visual Flashbacks – where your mind is triggered and transported back to the trauma, and you feel as though you are reliving it.

Somatic Flashbacks – where the survivor feels sensations, pain and discomfort in areas of the body, affected by the trauma. This pain/sensations cannot be explained by any other health issues, and are triggered by something that creates the body to “feel” the trauma again.

Emotional Flashbacks – the least known and understood, and yet the type complex trauma survivors can experience the most. These are where emotions from the past are triggered. Often the survivor does not understand these intense emotions are flashbacks, and it appears the survivor is being irrationally emotional.

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*** Leaving the US for France in 2004

My late aunt Dorothy Hyde was a wonderful woman and was very helpful to me and my then-wife Brigitte. She also looked a lot like my late mother, her sister, albeit with much lighter hair and eyes.

When Brigitte and I left her home in Rhode Island, saying our goodbyes, a tsunami of emotion suddenly came over me and, as the final hugs began, I began sobbing, and my face was drenched in tears. I remember my stomach throbbing. It was what they call a “meltdown.”

To this day, most people cannot recognize, out of truly shameful ignorance and/or wilful obtuseness, the incredibly obvious signs of severe PTSD.

“Oh, he [or she] is just crazy.”

No, something made them seem crazy, and you should be saluting them just for still being alive. Many, many PTSD survivors successfully commit suicide.

(Twenty-two US veterans kill themselves every day.)

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*** back to the Complex-PTSD article

When I learned about emotional flashbacks, it was a huge lightbulb moment of finally understanding why I have intense emotions, when they do not reflect the issue occurring now, but are in fact emotions felt during the trauma, being triggered.

But, there is no visual of the trauma – as with visual flashbacks. So, it takes a lot of work to start to understand when experiencing an emotional flashback.

For more info about emotional flashbacks see my article on my website.

5. Hypervigilance About People

Most people with PTSD have hypervigilance, where the person scans the environment for potential risks and likes to have their back to the wall.

But complex-trauma survivors often have a deep subconscious need to “work people out.” Since childhood, I have been aware of people’s non-verbal cues; their body language, their tone of voice, their facial expressions. I also subconsciously learn people’s habits and store away what they say. Then if anything occurs that contradicts any of this, it will immediately flag as something potentially dangerous.

This can be exhausting. And it can create a deep skillset of discernment about people. The aim of healing fear-based hyper-vigilance is turning it into non-fear-based discernment.

6. Loss Of Faith

Complex trauma survivors often endure a loss of faith. This can be about people, about the world being good, about religion, and a loss of faith about self.

Complex trauma survivors often view the world as dangerous and people as all potentially abusive, which is understandable when having endured ongoing severe abuse.

*** No one in my extended family picked up on anything

Aunts, uncles, grandparents and much older cousins — all utterly oblivious.

No “Gee, I wonder why John always has dark circles under his eyes? Why does he seem clingy and needy, and try to glom onto his uncles to talk about something or anything?”

“I dunno. He’s just a weird kid.”

That is pretty fucked up. The abuse went on for years because everyone just ignorantly shrugged their shoulders.

***

Many complex trauma survivors walk away from their religious beliefs. For example, to believe in a good and loving God who allows suffering and heinous abuse to occur can feel like the ultimate betrayal. This is something needing considerable compassion.

TRAUMA RELIEF

We regularly place ourselves in harm’s way to reach and restore victims of trauma. Our ongoing efforts have helped thousands of children, women and members of our military discover new hope, experience lasting change and receive ongoing support.

7. Profoundly Hurt Inner Child

Childhood complex trauma survivors, often have a very hurt inner child that continues on to affect the survivor in adulthood.

When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development.

A survivor will often continue on subconsciously wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.

Inner child healing can be healing for childhood abuse survivors. It is where the survivor begins to meet the needs of their hurt and wounded child, themselves. I have further info about this on my website.

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*** Speaking lovingly to your own wounded inner child

One technique I was taught was to imagine playing with my own inner John at age five or so. We would throw the frisbee to each other, or I, the adult John, would take him on my shoulders.

We would go for walks in the woods, gaze at ponds, catch frogs together and go biking. And I kept telling little John he was safe and would never be harmed again.  I hugged him a lot.

It really helped. :_)

And I will add yet again, all you turdlike jew Mossad types and Deep-State thugs reading me today– no man will ever lay his hands on me again.

Over and over, I mentally review and visualize how to kill psychopaths like you with my bare hands, with guns, knives, pens, dish towels (strangulation), etc.

The most loving thing I can do is exterminate you, as individuals and a group, and send you on to your next hell world — and then your next reincarnation.

You need to learn from your future fate of being executed for your crimes.

You see my cheekbones get deep-red? I see some disgusting two-legged thing masquerading as a human being which needs flushing down the toilet.

You got one second to back off.

***

8. Helplessness and Toxic Shame

Due to enduring ongoing or repeated abuse, the survivor can develop a sense of hopelessness — that nothing will ever be OK. They can feel so profoundly damaged, they see no hope for anything to get better. When faced with long periods of abuse, it does feel like there is no hope of anything changing. And even when the abuse or trauma stops, the survivor can continue on having these deep core-level beliefs of hopelessness. This is intensified by the terribly life-impacting symptoms of complex PTSD that keep the survivor stuck with the trauma, with little hope of this easing.

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*** Three or more severe nightmares a month, sometimes several a week

Horrible insomnia for 35 years,  or very light sleep, waking up screaming or even throwing objects at an attacker.

After I joined the Marines, it turned into acting out actual close-combat techniques: hurling obects, yelling a war cry, and charging at the enemy.

My first wife and daughters saw it.

But it never occurred to anyone in their amazing obtusity that since I was in the Marines only in the post-Vietnam peacetime years — 1977-80 — I could not be possibly be reliving the horrors of combat.

I was reliving, in fact, something much worse.

To see a fellow soldier killed, well, heck, it is nasty but expected. We were trying to kill THEM.

But as a child to see an adult raping, torturing and killing a little child just like you…..

…or saying, kill this child with this knife, or we will rape and then kill him, then rape and kill you.

…or gouge the eyes out of this baby rabbit, or baby goat, then kill it.

You just cannot believe the horror. You pray it is not real — and it is.

And they all were jews or their goy minions, luciferian 33rd-degree Masons.

I blogged a while back about my feeling upon seeing a video about chick macerators. In the vicious chicken-processing facilities of Jewmerica, all male chicks are killed, ground up alive by a machine.

I saw the video and (this is rare nowadays) saw sparkles before my eyes, and felt dread, nausea, and the feeling I was going to pass out.

Since then I have know the jews feed live, white human babies into large macerators, and make other white children watch so as to inflict mind-blowing fear.

.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_u0jxi_v-w

Adrenochrome stories are fake; adrenaline torture is true

***

Toxic shame is a common issue survivors of complex trauma endure. Often the perpetrators of the abuse make the survivor feel they deserved it, or they were the reason for it. Often survivors are made to feel they don’t deserve to be treated any better.

Sexual abuse can create a whole added layer of toxic shame, which requires very specific and compassionate therapy, if this is accessible. Often, sexual abuse survivors who are repeatedly enduring this heinous abuse can develop feelings of being dirty, damaged and disgusting when their bodies are violated in this way.

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*** Any kind of sex without love is abhorrent to me

On a Marine “Reforger” exercise in Germany in 1979, everyone went off to the whorehouse, the Eros Center in Hamburg, except me. I got pressured by Marines far outranking me, a corporal, to get into the cab with them,

After three blocks we hit a red light. I just got out of the cab and walked back to my hotel, while the other Marines protested. A lieutenant said to me later, “Marines should do everything together.”

But for me, any sex that is not about love is selfishness, is violence, is rape and is horror,  I can only embrace a woman with love.

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9. Repeated Search For A Rescuer

Subconsciously looking for someone to rescue them is something many survivors understandably think about during the ongoing trauma and this can continue on after the trauma has ceased.

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*** an obtuse uncle said I always “pestered” him

“You always wanted to talk with me about something, anything.”

Gee, I wonder why, dumb fuck with your advanced college degree.

But you were in your own little world.

The little blond nephew who kept “pestering” him, actually just wanting desperately to talk to another human being.

***

The survivor can feel helpless and yearn for someone to come and rescue them from the pain they feel and want them to make their lives better. This sadly often leads to the survivor seeking out the wrong types of people and being re-traumatized repeatedly.

10. Dissociation

When enduring ongoing abuse, the brain can utilize dissociation as a coping method. This can be from daydreaming to more life-impacting forms of dissociation such as dissociative identity disorder (DID).

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***I was too tough for this to ensue

The whole goal of MK-ULTRA and its most hideous form, Manchurian Candidates, is to create a new personality, a human robot. He may not even remember killing someone, or who it was that ordered him to do so.

This is important if the MK is arrested.

They never broke me to this point.

When I ran away at ten, they gave up. And my family was too famous in Rhode Island to just murder me.

Later on, exactly ten years after I ran away:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1974_Rhode_Island_gubernatorial_election

It was the Watergate year, 1974, when most Republicans were defeated, and my father was viciously attacked by the newspapers, especially for loyally defending President Nixon, whom he knew and respected.

The Deep State also knew that his son John had gone “off the reservation.”

I will never forget how the Providence [Rhode Island] Journal photographer kneeled down and took a shot of my dad from the floor, as far below as possible, in order to get a shot prominently showing his nostrils. So they got their zoom shot of his nostrils, and ran that photo on page one.

My dad’s motto — he was a very successful businessman — was also a Trumpian or even Hitlerian one that scared the jews

“A leader, not a politician.”

Not what the Deep State wanted at all. 😉

They want politicians, not leaders.

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*** Back to the Complex-PTSD piece

This is particularly experienced by child abuse survivors, who are emotionally unable to cope with trauma in the same way an adult can.

For more information about the different types of dissociation, see my website.

11. Persistent Sadness and Being Suicidal

Complex trauma survivors often experience ongoing states of sadness and severe depression. Mood disorders are often co-morbid with complex PTSD.

Complex trauma survivors are high risk for suicidal thoughts, suicide ideation and being actively suicidal. Suicide ideation can become a way of coping, where the survivor feels like they always have a way to end the severe pain if it becomes any worse. Often the deep emotional pain survivors feel, can feel unbearable. This is when survivors are at risk of developing suicidal thoughts.

For more information about suicidal issues, see my website.

12. Muscle Armoring

Many complex trauma survivors, who have experienced ongoing abuse, develop body hyper-vigilance. This is where the body is continually tensed, as though the body is “braced” for potential trauma. This leads to pain issues as the muscles are being overworked. Chronic pain and other issues related such as chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia can result. Massage, guided muscle relaxation and other ways to manage this can help.

All of these issues are very normal for complex trauma survivors. Enduring complex trauma is not a normal life experience, and therefore the consequences it creates are different, yet very normal for what they have experienced and endured.

Not every survivor will endure all these, and there are other symptoms that can be endured. I always suggest trauma-informed counseling if that is accessible. There are medications available to help with symptoms such as anxiety and depression.

There are also many self-help strategies to manage the symptoms and help heal. Many of these are listed on my website.

Lastly, I advise that empathy, gentleness and compassion are required for complex trauma survivors.

— Lilly Hope Lucario (Severe and multiple complex trauma survivor).

 

*** LOL!

“empathy, gentleness and compassion” … Try callousness, harshness and coldness. 

I felt utterly alone. Radically insecure.

Incredibly, I was convinced I was plug-ugly. I also never looked myself in the eye in the mirror, not even when shaving. I also averted my eyes from other people for decades.

I was shocked when a professional photographer in Alexandria, Virginia, told me I had blue eyes. “Of course, your eyes are blue — very blue” he said, puzzled.

I thought they were an ugly grayish-brown.

I was so insecure women did not find me attractive — for that one overriding reason. Both genders are attracted only to a person who likes themself, believes in themself, and is on their own path upward to greater things.

“Ugly and unattractive” — what I was told about myself by the jews raping and torturing me as a child

I thank Margi, herself a rape victim twice, for taking my incredible story of abuse seriously when we met on April 20, 2005.

I contrast her to a Tyrolian (Austrian) gal I dated six years before in the town of Kundl in 1999, who saw my hands finely trembling. (This trembling stopped after I met Margi.) She had no more intelligent question to ask me than

“Are you doing drugs?”

Umm, is this trembling dog, who was abused and burned with cigarettes on both legs, then rescued, “doing drugs”?

Geezus.

What use to our race is a woman without “the milk of human kindness” (Macbeth 1:5) who can neither read peoples’ faces and expressions, nor feel compassion? 

She is just a small, weak, second-rate man — without those female gifts of kindness, caring and female intuition that can make women wonderful. 

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No wonder that at 39, though pretty, that female-in-name-only was still unmarried and childless.

In the end, I found peace by thanking God for my childhood, because 1) it hardened my heart against evil AND 2) SHOWED ME ANYTHING CAN BE OVERCOME.

I now fulfill to the hilt of the sword the inofficial Marine Corps motto:

“No better friend — and no worse enemy.” 

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*** back to the spiritual reading

This may provide some information which will serve you well in the future.

Please take good care of your physical self today as well. It is not a time for profigacy or a casual approach to your body’s needs. Eat thoughtfully, drink good water, rest when you are tired, exercise gently and avoid the temptation to push yourself. In this case you are much more likely to push yourself into collapse than on through to the other side.

The day holds the potential to render many deeply valuable insights if you are paying atention and staying in alignment. There is much to be learned from the practice of holding the center while the margins expand and contract. Fear nothing and allow all, but don’t forget the totality of your truth. Don’t forget the vastness of who you are.

We send you all much love and urge you again to practice love and kindness for yourself and others through this day of wonderful ups and downs.

Many blessings. — E.West

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Trauma can lead to the jews battering and seizing control of your mind — or to YOU taking your mind back from them.

First, let your trauma motivate you to become “the captain 0f your own soul,” and then let the glorious sunshine in.

 

 

Invictus

(by William Henley):

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait [narrrow] the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 

16 Comments

  1. https://youtu.be/urSW2fHcuIA
    È consapevole di questa nuova Era,nonostante tutte le sue Ansie.
    PS:Nessuno può comprendere il tuo dolore quanto me…la paura,il sentirsi inadeguati,non riuscire a guardare negli occhi le persone,le occhiaie,il bisogno di protezione e tutti quei sentimenti che hanno caratterizzato la tua vita.
    Si,è incredibile..non so come ma è così.
    Sei la mia vita..tutta la mia vita.
    E non ti abbandono…

  2. Israel rejects the deadly COVID-19 vaccines from Pfizer, Moderna, and Astra Zeneca, and chooses Russia’s “Sputnik-V” vaccine instead. Hmmmm…. I wonder why?

    https://vidrebel.wordpress.com/2020/11/19/the-vaccines-are-worse-than-dr-mikovits-thought

    From the above article:

    “Now we know why Israel has opted to use the Russian vaccine and refused Pfizer, Moderna and Astra Zeneca’s offers.”

    https://www.distributednews.com/475569.html

    From the above article:

    “David Knight featured a UK whistleblower on his show today who revealed that coronavirus vaccine adjuvants are demonstrating a 97% sterility rate in women who take the vaccine. This is what happens when you turn your protein synthesis over to evil corporations who are pursuing a global depopulation agenda.”

    Proof that Israel is purchasing the Russian “Sputnik-V” vaccine:

    https://www.rt.com/russia/505712-israel-orders-sputnik-vaccine

    More recently, Israel conditionally “purchased” 8 million doses of the Pfizer vaccine from Jewish Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla as a propaganda defense, since it would raise serious questions of why Israel, a supposed “ally” of the United States, was using a Russian vaccine instead of one produced in the U.S. or EU. You can bet that no one in Israel will actually receive the deadly Pfizer, Moderna, or Astra Zeneca vaccines, but rather the Russian vaccine, if any vaccine at all:

    https://www.rt.com/news/506753-israle-pfizer-vaccine-contract

    From the above article – note the highly conditional phrasing:

    “Israel has signed a formal agreement of intent with US pharma giant Pfizer for some eight million doses of its coronavirus vaccine candidate – if and when it is approved and the company starts supplying it to foreign customers.

    Pfizer could receive an upfront payment of over $35 million as early as next week, even though the agreement does not include any commitment to actually supply the vaccine, Ynet reports. The remaining $200+ million will be paid once some eight million jabs are shipped, but if increased demand in the US or other ‘circumstances’ prevent Pfizer from fulfilling the order, Jerusalem expects a refund.”

    https://www.ynetnews.com/article/Sk00HXZnKv

    From the above article – again note the highly conditional phrasing:

    “The agreement does not include any commitment by the company to supply the vaccines to Israel, but only an intention to do so “according to the circumstances”.”

    Uh-huh. I’ll bet they find a way to supply either the Russian “Sputnik-V” vaccine, or a harmless saline injection, to all Jews in the United States and worldwide. Any Pfizer, Moderna, or Astra Zeneca vaccines purchased by Israel will either be injected into Israel’s Arab population, or thrown away. The deadly and probably sterilizing Pfizer, Moderna, and Astra Zeneca vaccines are meant only for the goyim, in Israel and worldwide.

  3. Ieri sono corsa di nuovo al cimitero da mia nonna,dopo un brutto litigio con mio marito (non sopporto di essere attaccata ferocemente anche se sbaglio)..questo attacco ha scatenato qualcosa dentro di me(il ricordo dei miei incubi).
    Di nuovo quella brutta sensazione,di nuovo quella voce.
    Di nuovo il suicidio.
    Mi sono calmata solo perché lì mi sono sentita al sicuro.
    I miei incubi sono più rari ora,per la presenza di mia nonna e per la tua.
    Anche mio marito è stato male per questo…se ne rende conto.
    Questo articolo mi è stato di aiuto…
    Probabilmente mi sono legata anche io ad uno zio che non vive qui,ero molto piccola.
    Già,il bisogno di protezione…
    Ora mi rendo conto che questi incubi mi hanno portata ad avere tutti questi problemi che hai elencato 🙁
    Ma io non sono stata abusata come te.
    Non riesco a capire.
    Spero di non essermi ferita di proposito da piccola;sto cominciando a sospettarlo.
    Per questo mi sono allontanata dai miei genitori?Per i miei incubi?
    Qualcosa è successo da subito,ma non ricordo l’età.Perche’ sono fuggita di casa?sicuramente avevo 5 o 6 anni perché ho trascinato mia sorella con me..
    Mio marito dice che durante la notte ho continui scatti corporei..
    Sono insopportabile…
    Non me ne rendo conto 🙁

    • Once only, I had an experience, about four years ago, of something like a huge, invasive bug with fluttering wings that tried to land on my chest.

      My videographer had told me before this that exactly this kind of visitation once occurred to him.

      His mother, a fanatic Christian, told him to call on the name of Jesus — even though he dislikes Christianity.

      And so he did when this thing came into his room.

      It seemed to fear Jesus, and it vanished.

      And the same thing happened to me.

      I am so very sorry that your childhood was traumatic.

      But remember the power of now, dear comrade! 🙂

      And I am sure that in this now, your husband and children adore you. 🙂

      And so do your angels, and your faraway friend. 🙂

  4. Ho sentito il minimo di quello che hai passato tu…ma tutto questo ha influenzato in maniera negativa tutta la mia vita.La mia insicurezza,le paure,il bisogno di sognare ad occhi aperti,il timore delle persone,il mio eccessivo bisogno di protezione,la mia chiusura verso il mondo esterno,i sensi di colpa e l’annientamento.
    Quindi non potevo essere consapevole di tutte queste cose perché erano molto nascoste.Ecco perché sono fuggita quasi subito da quei pedofili…e come potevo saperlo?!Sembravano persone normali..eppure il mio istinto mi ha tenuta lontano da loro,anche se mia madre era lì.
    Sono fuggita anche da mia madre.
    Mi sono sempre sentita in trappola..anche dopo il matrimonio.
    Posso solo dire che l’odio che provo per questi esseri non si può definire.
    Non li voglio in carcere….li voglio tutti morti,ma di una morte atroce!
    Ecco perché mi dà molto fastidio l’indifferenza e la stupidità delle persone!!!!
    Scusami se ti scrivo così tanto..probabilmente è la grande fiducia che ho nei tuoi confronti.
    Mi stai aiutando…

    • Transl:

      I experienced only a fraction of what you went through … but all of this has negatively affected my whole life: my insecurity, fears, need to daydream, fear of people, my excessive need protection, my closure to the outside world, guilt and annihilation.

      So I couldn’t be aware of all these things because they were very hidden, “repressed.”

      That’s why I ran away from those pedophiles almost immediately … and how was I to know ?! They looked like normal people … yet my instincts kept me away from them, even though my mother was there.

      I also ran away from my own mother.

      I always felt trapped … even after the wedding [and I had a husband to protect me].

      I can only say that the hatred I feel for these beings cannot be described.

      I don’t want them in prison …. I want them all dead, but dying a terrible death!

      That’s why it bothers me a lot the indifference and stupidity of people !!!

      Excuse me if I write you so much .. it is probably the great trust I have in you.

      You are really helping me …

  5. Allora è proprio vero,una vita parallela a distanza di anni può significare solo l’esistenza delle fiamme gemelle…non ci sono altre spiegazioni.E non avrei mai capito tutte queste sensazioni,i minimi particolari da sola.Questo articolo è stato prezioso per me..e non credo che uno psicologo avrebbe capito la mia situazione;lo avrebbe etichettato come comune “disagio” in famiglia.
    Il disagio di una ragazza timida che non parla.
    Tu mi hai salvato la vita,anni fa come presenza ricettiva e ora come presenza consapevole.
    Non mi sono risvegliata solo come essere Reincarnato alla ricerca delle mie vite passate ma anche come una strana fiamma gemella.
    Ora Vinci anche per me!
    Per la nostra pace interiore 🙂

    • Transl:

      So it’s really true … a parallel life after years can only mean the existence of twin flames … there are no other explanations.

      And I would never have understood all these sensations, the smallest details alone. ..and I don’t think a psychologist would have understood my situation; he would have labeled it as a common “discomfort” in the family.
      The discomfort of a shy girl who does not speak.

      You saved my life, years ago as a receptive presence and now as a conscious presence.

      I have not only awakened as being Reincarnated in search of my past lives but also as a strange twin flame.

      Now win for me too!

      For our inner peace, too!

      [End]

      My answer: 🙂

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uf_QhhJ9TOQ

    • Affascinante.

      I puri di cuore e di mente sono sempre amati dai loro angeli custodi.

      E quando stanno morendo, spesso hanno poco dolore e lasciano il loro corpo prima della morte, quindi ascendono un tunnel di luce verso un mondo senza ebrei.:-)

  6. Si,John…dopo quel dono sono accadute cose strane,l’artista che ha fatto il ritratto dei miei figli mi ha comunicato qualcosa:”Guarda oltre il ritratto,oltre quello che vedi in superficie”. È stato un altro bellissimo dono e spesso resto immobile a guardarlo perché è magnetico.Ora so che quello che mi donano,anche le persone che conosco,hanno un significato molto particolare.
    In realtà indicano chi sono!
    Anche durante lo sciopero per il Covid ho sentito da parte di un partecipante(mi ha donato un foglio di protesta)quella voce “particolare”…
    Siamo circondati da Angeli e non lo sappiamo?Credo proprio di sì 🙂 E ora mi protegge anche mia nonna a quanto pare,come fa tuo nonno con te 🙂
    Deve amarti tantissimo..
    Come [ 🙂 ].

    • Reply:

      Yes, John … strange things happened after that gift, the artist who made the portrait of my children told me something: “Look beyond the portrait, beyond what you see on the surface”. It was another beautiful gift and I often stand still looking at it because it is magnetic.Now I know that what they give me, even the people I know, have a very special meaning.
      They actually indicate who they are!
      Even during the strike for Covid I heard from one participant (he gave me a protest sheet) that “particular” voice …
      We are surrounded by Angels and we don’t know it? I think so 🙂 And now my grandmother is protecting me too apparently, as your grandfather does with you 🙂
      He must love you so much ..

  7. Allevi sta comunicando un messaggio importante a tutto il pianeta.
    Il popolo s’infuria per il suo successo,la critica musicale lo attacca ferocemente.
    Entrambi snobbano questo semplice messaggio che continuo a “percepire” nei suoi modi di fare,entrambi si “dividono” sulle critiche(Ego).
    È uno dei suoi pezzi orchestrali.
    Qui il Coro:

    O generosa magnitudo!

    O generosa, veni ad nos!

    Victori gloria, cum honestate semper movetur cor eius. (x2)

    Victori gloria (x3)

    Custodi animum tuum

    ut a corruptione abstineat

    necopitatum gaudium accipies

    o generosa!

    Gloria, I say to you Alleluia!

    Winner you’ll be in your heart

    Gloria, I say to you Alleluia!

    Winner you’ll be in your heart, always you’ll be.

    O generosa magnitudo!

    O generosa, veni ad nos!

    Victori gloria, cum honestate semper movetur cor eius.

    Victori gloria (x3)

    Custodi animum tuum

    ut a corruptione abstineat

    necopitatum gaudium accipies

    o generosa!

    Gloria, I say to you Alleluia!

    Winner you’ll be in your heart

    Gloria, I say to you Alleluia!

    Winner you’ll be in your heart, always you’ll be.

    Gloria, I say to you Alleluia!

    Winner you’ll be in your heart

    Gloria, I say to you Alleluia!

    Winner you’ll be in your heart!

    O generosa!

  8. https://youtu.be/kqgosxIgR8w
    Una grande sordità vi colpirà…
    Sergiu Celibidache(direttore d’orchestra).
    Lui criticava tutti ma senza Ego.
    Erano punti di vista “costruttivi”.
    Allevi dichiara:”Attaccano la mia persona,non quello che suono”.
    Si può giudicare davvero una composizione?Giudica il Cuore o l’Ego???Una bella domanda.

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