Every effort is being made to paint these birthday balloons as mysterious, possibly alien craft. And it’s all ridiculous. For example, the WSJ reports that a “flying object” was shot down over Canada. This object was described as a “small metallic balloon” (i.e. some little boy’s birthday balloon filled with helium) that drifted to 20,000 feet altitude.

Canadian officials were breathless over their amazing military effort to “defeat” a helium-filled birthday balloon. From the WSJ:

A Canadian patrol aircraft is trying to pinpoint the debris from the destroyed object. Ms. Anand said she wouldn’t speculate on the object’s origins. “The importance of this moment should not be underestimated. We identified the object together and we defeated this object together,” Ms. Anand said of the joint U.S.-Canada mission. She added this marked the first time in the history of the North American Aerospace Defense Command, or Norad, that jet fighters shot down an object.

That’s a whole lot of hyperventilation over a birthday balloon.

The Russians must be ROFL, knowing that U.S. and Canadian military brass are bragging about shooting down a birthday balloon, using terms like “unknown origins” (because they don’t know which kid released it at his birthday celebration).

Similarly, other media stories — obviously planted as part of a psyop — talk about how the objects show “no visible propulsion system” which is exactly how helium birthday balloons operate, of course.

All helium balloons floating in the atmosphere have “no visible propulsion system.” And they aren’t “flying,” really. They’re floating. So even the WSJ headline is misleading.

Furthermore, the idea that humanity’s pathetic fighter jets could defeat the technology of aliens who possess Faster-Than-Light (FTL) capabilities is absurd. If aliens are actually visiting Earth — which isn’t an unreasonable conjecture — they surely aren’t stupid enough to have their UFOs shot down by the woke military morons of Canada and the Pentagon.

If anything, extraterrestrials would be laughing at Earth’s stupid humans who mutilate their children, murder their babies and have gone so woke that they think 2+2=5.

As we approach World War III, however, it sure is nice to know that the U.S. military is capable of shooting down birthday balloons. Whether that will matter when Russia’s Hyperglide Vehicles deliver nuclear warheads to Washington D.C. is another issue altogether, however. If the U.S. military could shoot down Russia’s rockets, then Russia wouldn’t be able to keep repeatedly striking power grid targets in Ukraine, would they?

The good news is that if America is invaded by birthday balloons, we have an effective national defense system against them.