The benefits of feeling gratitude

After 3 years of hardship and a few days before Christmas, let’s cultivate this feeling that warms the heart.

Dear friend of Health,

It’s the “end of abundance”, it seems…

…and millions of modest households will be victims, alas.

I don’t want to minimize the seriousness of the situation, for the most vulnerable among us.

But today, I would like to talk to you about the flip side of abundance.

The affluent society does not only have benefits… It also has a big flaw.

It’s that we tend to get used to affluence – to consider comfort as “normal”.

We tend to forget how lucky we are to have running water, heating, and all the comfort that energy gives us (when it’s not overpriced).

And the trouble with human nature…

…is that when you get used to your level of comfort…

…we may tend to ogle our neighbour’s.

It’s one of the pitfalls of modernity: when our basic needs are satisfied… some people begin to compare themselves to those who always have more.

The trap of envy

Jean-Jacques Rousseau is the first philosopher to have underlined this risk. For him, our tendency to compare ourselves is the direct consequence of abundance:

“As long as we are occupied with absolute needs only, we limit ourselves to seeking what is really useful to us; we hardly cast an idle glance at others”[1].

The problem, Rousseau tells us, is that we always tend to compare ourselves with those who have more:

“We forget what we have more of — and worry about what we have less of”.

Obviously, this is calamitous for our happiness and personal fulfillment.

It’s the best way, actually, to be unhappy even when our life is full of blessings, because whatever we do, there will always be someone better off than us, and of whom we could be jealous.

This is why the race to accumulate wealth never leads to happiness. It’s the fate of the hamster that keeps going around in circles.

With the additional risk, well described by Rousseau, of creating an emotional distance between you and others:

“As soon as a man compares himself to others, he necessarily becomes their enemy, because everyone wanting in his heart to be the most powerful, the happiest, the richest, can only regard as a secret enemy anyone who has the same goals for himself.”[2]

It is a dramatic and slippery slope, since there is nothing more precious than having healthy and deep relationships with other human beings.

Fortunately, there is a very effective antidote to this envy trap.

Two magic words to live better

It is a very simple and very pure feeling: that of gratitude. Just saying “thank you”.

It is no coincidence that all moral and spiritual traditions encourage people to be grateful to one another and to thank destiny, God or nature for the blessings they receive from life.

On a scientific level, numerous studies show how cultivating gratitude produces dazzling benefits for our health[3].

But gratitude is more than just good medicine.

It’s also the antidote to the ravages of envy, because gratitude invites us to compare ourselves with those who have less (not those who have more). It invites us to rejoice in our situation by thinking of those who suffer more.

Ukraine

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Gratitude helps block out toxic emotions like envy and bitterness. Rather than being jealous of the one who has more, gratitude makes us appreciate what we have.

And it’s so easy to do!

Thus, in the morning, upon waking up, each of us can take a few seconds to realize how lucky we are.

We could have woken up blind, deaf or paralyzed… but no, our heart beats quietly, we breathe without difficulty, we have our two legs, our two arms and a well-made head.

We are lucky to have a roof over our heads. We have running water, electricity at all hours of the day (wiht our fingers crossed for January!), a computer or telephone that allows us to connect to exciting information.

We have eyes to admire the beauty of what surrounds us.

UP evergreens in a winter wonderland 

Then, just go one step further, showing gratitude.

Saying thank you. By expressing gratitude, and truly FEELING it!

If you’re a believer, it’s easy: just thank the Creator. If we are not, we can thank “life” for all its benefits.

It is good to realize that what is positive in our life, we owe it at least partly to someone else: to our parents who gave us life, and to all those who have influenced us for our good. And we can thank them for that.

Thank you in heaven for 17 great years you spent with me, Margi

Are you sick? Are you in pain? Are you going through hardships? Even so, it’s good to try to make the effort to thank life for what it brings that is positive. Studies have shown that gratitude produces its benefits, including in victims of degenerative and incurable diseases[4].

This recognition can last a few seconds, and allows you to start your day off well.

In the evening, if necessary, we can take another one or two minutes to be thankful.

This time, you can remember (or even write down in a notebook) all the positive things that happened during the day, and express your gratitude to those who facilitated it.

Let us be grateful to people who give us happiness; they are  charming gardeners through whom our souls can flower.

And of course, throughout the day, we can also warmly thank all those who serve us, verbally or by a kind look.

The magic of gratitude is it bonds us more closely to others. It pushes us to kindness towards the one who has done us a favor… who will feel all the closer to us if he receives a “thank you” from us!

After the hardships of recent years, it feels good!

Gratitude is precious, too, because it leads us to recognize (in the sense of noting, of admitting) that there is lots of good in one’s existence.

Life is never perfect and is sometimes painful. The tragedies and scandals linked to Covid have cruelly reminded us of this in recent years.

But life always includes joys — the moments worth living.

Gratitude invites us to celebrate these moments, to recognize what is going well in our life rather than ruminating on what is going wrong, to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

It’s not just “positive thinking”. It is not about turning a blind eye and ignoring the difficulties or challenges of everyday life. It’s about realizing that even hardship can bring us something, and that’s what we need to focus on.

More deeply, gratitude turns us away from ourselves to open ourselves to others. We recognize that we owe at least some of the benefits we enjoy to what others have done for us.

And the more we express our gratitude to others, the more they delight in doing us good. And the more they do, the more we have to be grateful to him…

It’s not a vicious circle, but a virtuous circle… turning without end!

Good health, and Merry Christmas to you all!

Xavier Bazin

Sources:
[1] Second dialogue, Rousseau judges Jean-Jacques.

[2] Political Fragments, II, “On the State of Nature

[3] https://www.sante-corps-esprit.com/gratitude/

[4] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12585811/